need it~.... of course..., you may find it a little bit of ... long..., but you will find it REALLY pays off after the reading.

so, this~ is just what I recommanded, ...strongly

all right, we are moving...

If you thought English was your second language, you might not have realized you learning a third language at the same time!!! This valuable guide will help you to understand the most difficult language of all... the language of women !!! Another international language!!

Lesson 1.

“Yes.” really means：“No.”

“No.” really means：“No.”

“Maybe.” really means：“No.”

“I'm sorry.” really means：“You'll be sorry.”

Lesson 2.

“We need...” really means：“I want...”

If a woman says,“I think we need a new sofa.”She definitely means，“I want a new sofa!”This is a good lesson to learn. The next time you hear it,you can be prepared. I suggest offering to take your wife (or girlfriend) out to dinner as a distraction. It's cheaper than a new sofa. For example:

W: I think we need a new sofa.
H: I think we need to go out for dinner instead, we can talk about it later.
W: That's a great idea !!!

Lesson 3.

“We need to talk.”really means：“I need to complain。”

No woman says，“We need to talk”just to tell a man he's wonderful.If you hear these words from your girlfriend，you'd better start thinking about how you screwed up and how to appologize！！！ In fact，it's best to say，“OK，how about over a romantic dinner tonight？”If you are brave，you can say let's talk right now.But，whatever you do，don't answer by saying，“No，we don't.”

The following could happen to you：

W: Dear，we really need to talk.
M: No,I don't think so.
W: That's exactly what's wrong with you!!! You're an insensitive,inconsiderate jerk.You never talk to me,you never pay attention to me,and I HATE YOU!!!

The man always feels like he was hit by a bus without warning!!! Now,look at the following example of the RIGHT way to handle this dangerous situation.

W: Dear，we really need to talk.
M: OK,but I want to make a special time to talk. How about a romatic dinner tonight?
W: Um,OK. That sounds great.But it's nothing important,really.

VICTORY!!! You avoided a complaint.But you do have to pay for dinner!!!

Lesson 4.

“Do what you want.”really means：“You'll pay for this later.”

Don't be fooled into thinking this is free permission to do whatever you please. This is simply a warning that you will suffer for whatever you do.Think before you act, or you might end up regretting it later.

M: I know it's our anniversary tomorrow,but I was thinking of going to a football game with my friends.
W: OK. Do what you want.

This man is REALLY in big trouble!!! There aren't enough roses in the world to save him from disaster!!! He'd better make sure his friends have room on their sofa after the game,because he surely won't be welcome at home with his wife!!!

Lesson 5.

“Sure...go ahead”really means：“I don’t want you to do so.”

Lesson 6.

“It's your decision.”really means：“The correct decision should be obvious by now.”

By the time a woman says，“It's your decision，”she is already fed up with your indecision and thinks you should know what to do. Act quickly!!!

Lesson 7.

“I'm not upset.”really means：“Of course I'm upset，you idiot ！”

Only men ask the question，“Why are you upset？”or “Are you upset？” even when a woman is crying. That's why women have learned to say,“I'm not upset.”as a reflex. If a woman tells you this，you'd better try to figure out why she's upset and make it better.On the other hand，if you don't really care，or don't have the time to be bothered，you can quickly say，“I'm so glad you understand me and aren't upset.”Then run for the door！

“I'm not yelling!”really means：“Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.”

Lesson 8.

“You 're so manly.”really means：“You need a shave and you sweat a lot.”

If a woman thinks you look good，she will find a hundred ways to tell you.This is NOT one of them.If a woman tells you, you're so manly, you'd better take a shower and shave!!!

Lesson 9.

“Do you love me？”really means：“I'm going to ask for someing expensive.”

The best defense for this sentence is to quickly say，“I love you because you don't care about material things。You know true love can't be bought.”There's no way your girlfriend can ask you to buy her something expensive after you pay her this compliment.

“How much do you love me？”really means：“I did something today you're really not going to like.”

W: How much do you love me？
M: A lot. Why do you ask such a silly question?
W: Because I just wrecked your car.
M: You what? You're so stupid!!! How could you be so careless!!!
W: I just wrecked your car a little, you said you loved me a lot!!! You didn't even ask me if I was OK
M: I can see you're OK, I want to see my car!!!

Lesson 10.

“I'll be ready in a minute.”really means：“Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.”

Some people believe there is “male time” and “female time”. A minute for a woman to get ready really means about fifteen or twenty minutes. This is “female time”.

Lesson 11.

“Is my butt fat？”really means：“Tell me I'm beautiful.”

Lesson 12.

“You have to learn to comunicate.”really means：“Just agree with me.”

Many women think a man is an excellent communicator if he just knows two words：“Yes dear.”So if you would like to impress an American woman with your English it is easier than you think ！！！

Lesson 13.

“Are you listening to me ！？”really means：“Too late，you're dead.”

By the time a woman asks you if you are listening，she already is sure you weren't，and is damn mad. The best plan is to tell her you were distracted by how beautiful she is and really weren't listening. This might get you off the hook. If your wife or girlfriend is really angry,it might also get you slapped.

Lesson 14.

“Do you like this food？”really means：“It's easy to make，so you'd better get used to it.”

Lesson 15.

“All we're going to buy is a soap dish.”really means：“It goes without saying that we're shopping at the new cosmetics department and the shoe department. I need to look at a few new pocket books，and OH MY GOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your credit card？”

The biggest lie men tell is：“I never look at other girls.”The biggest lie women tell is：“I only want to buy one thing.”Never fall for this. Unless you have done something really bad and need to make up for it，avoid going shopping with a woman at all costs.

因为最近一段时间要准备2个课设和2个Presentation，所以又有很长时间没有更新了，现在把巴黎4日游记的后半部分补齐。

这是巴黎旅游A团利用万圣节假期从2005年10月31日到11月3日为期4天的旅行记录(下)。

A团成员4名，包括董文斌[Gildas]+陈曦露[Lydie]、张远洲[Ingrid]和团长我（张桐[Serge]）。

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Review: fever's Special Edtion of Paris I

第一天： 出发！x 巴黎 x 美女 x Louis Vuitton x 危险？x 铁塔
1ere jour:  Le Départ x Paris x Les Belles x Louis Vuitton x En Danger? x La Tour Eiffel

第二天： 迪斯尼 x 迟到了…… x Disney x 好长的队 x 迪斯尼 x 角色扮演？ x Disney x 惊险游戏的体验 x 迪斯尼
2e jour:  En Retard... x Les Longues Lignes x Rôle-Jouer? x Les Expériences des Jeus Aventureux

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

第三天： 艺术的气息 x “我是见到过蒙娜丽莎的男人！” x 皇宫 x 夜色下的巴黎伴着塞纳河 x 团员病倒？
3e jour:  Le Souffle d'Art x "Je Suis Un Homme Qui A Vu La Joconde!" x Palais Royaux
  x Paris Dans La Nuit avec La Seine x Quelqu'un Tombe Malade?

    终于要去卢浮宫了。为了去见蒙娜丽莎，我和小宝在出发前克服困难特意洗了头。整理过发型之后，一行人搭乘地铁来到了传说中的卢浮博物馆。

    因为搭乘了地铁，所以我们并没有经过玻璃金字塔主入口进入博物馆，而是直接从地下进入了卢浮宫的拿破仑大厅。卢浮博物馆共分为黎塞留馆(Richlieu)、叙利馆(Sully)和德农馆(Denon)三个展馆，包括地下一层在内，博物馆展厅共有4层，藏品则涉及古代文物、绘画、雕塑、工艺品和其他书画刻印艺术作品。不过，个人感觉，还是对绘画和雕塑的兴趣比较大一点。博物馆每层都有数十个展室，所以要都参观下来的话，一定会有“心力交瘁”的感觉。博物馆里有不少看起来像是学习艺术的学生在临摹作品，说起来，如果你在法国学习艺术，卢浮宫真算是天堂中的天堂了。

    在博物馆里，找到了许多在美术课上介绍过的名作。终于，被我们找到了传说中的蒙娜丽莎的藏身之处。不过，要想接近她是根本不可能的：不仅严格禁止拍照，而且所有游客都只能在几米之外（应该大约有十米？）隔着防弹玻璃（猜想应该是防弹的）观赏这幅巨作，只有小朋友才被允许更靠近一点点。尽管没有预想的那样兴奋，不过总算是看到过达芬奇的真迹了，所以，从此我也是见到过蒙娜丽莎的男人了（仰天长笑）…… 至于真迹的特殊之处吗，看不大出来哎……

    卢浮博物馆其实也是以前的法国皇宫所在。在黎塞留馆二层，便有拿破仑三世的套房。此外，在同层的德农馆也有王室珠宝的展览。总之，匆匆忙忙并且留下无数遗憾地结束了在卢浮博物馆一个白天的参观之后，我们接着向塞纳河畔进发。

    好像从下午开始，巴黎就下起了雨。夜色初降，我们登上了在塞纳河码头上停泊的游船。7点整，游船准时出发，就这样，在细雨的拥吻和塞纳河的陪伴下，我们有幸再一次约会为夜晚而盛装的巴黎…… 当然，为了这种场合，Gildas和我可是特意有所准备的。想象一下：背景是绚丽的巴黎夜色，天空中飘着细雨，在塞纳河上，Gildas和Serge站在游船顶层，镜头推近，两人正在用手中的啤酒碰杯，~太男人了……
…………

    不过说实话，晚上真的很冷。而且，Gildas和我的啤酒都是500ml装的，在塞纳河之旅结束之后，我已经明显感觉到自己的重心好像经常会发生变化，而喝一点酒脸就会红的Gildas反应则更是强烈。不过身为勇敢的A团团员，Gildas同学还是以男人的意志坚持了下来。所以说，做男人是要付出代价的……

第三天的遗憾：
 -- 根本没有近距离接触蒙娜丽莎的机会！
 -- 游览卢浮宫没有足够的时间，就算打劫时间都不够，至少3天！

第四天： 圣母大教堂 x 爸爸的生日！ x 圣诞节的机票 x 六弦琴 x 回程…… x 结束了？
4e jour:  Cathédrale Notre-Dame de Paris x L'Anniversaire de Papa
  x Les Billes d'Avion Vers Le Noël x Les Guitares
  x Le Retour... x C'est Fini?

    最后一天的旅程，目标是位于巴黎市中心的圣母大教堂。其实，在法国几乎每个大一点的城市里都有大教堂，不过巴黎的这座圣母大教堂可是格外著名哩。为什么？不好意思，不太明白…… (“被鄙视了……”)

    11月3日，今天正好是爸爸的生日。在大教堂里有一本名叫"Livre de Vie"的书，直译过来就是“生命之书”的意思，以供记录各国游客的留言。当然了，A团所有成员都在书上留下了自己的祝愿，对于我来说，在巴黎圣母院里写下对家人的祝福和对爸爸生日的祝愿还真是非常、非常有意义了。

    结束了在巴黎圣母院的参观之后，时间将近正午，Lydie和Ingrid因为要在圣诞节回国，所以要去巴黎某旅行社购买机票，而这也就是A团在巴黎的最后行程了。事情顺利搞定之后，全员回到旅馆收拾行李，准备搭乘晚上6点3分的火车返回图尔市。在回程之前，由于Nicholas的努力，终于拿到了盼望已久的六弦琴，在此与Nicholas共勉，一起努力了。

    因为火车晚点，晚上9点左右，A团全体成员顺利、安全的到达了图尔市车站。由于上午在团长打电话给父亲拜寿时，A团的3名团员表现得非常有礼貌，因此团长我得到批准，在顺利返回之后宴请了所有A团成员（本来想在巴黎享受一下，可惜行程太紧，只好作罢）。就这样，我们的巴黎之行到此结束了……

第四天的遗憾：
 -- 还是没有找到Maxim's！
 -- 还没有体验巴黎的街头咖啡馆！
 -- 还没有去凡尔赛宫！
 -- 还没有去奥赛博物馆！
 -- …………
 -- 没有看到为圣诞节盛装的巴黎！
 -- 买的是往返票，必须回去了……

(fin) ====================

终于写完了，假期之后的我们又要为学业忙碌了，祝大家一切顺利！

-- fever

这是巴黎旅游A团利用万圣节假期从2005年10月31日到11月3日为期4天的旅行记录(上)。

A团成员4名，包括董文斌[Gildas]+陈曦露[Lydie]、张远洲[Ingrid]和团长我（张桐[Serge]）。

第一天： 出发！x 巴黎 x 美女 x Louis Vuitton x 危险？x 铁塔
1ere jour:  Le Départ x Paris x Les Belles x Louis Vuitton x En Danger? x La Tour Eiffel

    第一天，早上6点57分登上公共汽车前往图尔市火车站（本来计划搭乘6点45分的车，但由于A团中除张桐之外的所有团员都没有按时集合，所以不得已推迟一班，哼哼~），也从此奠定了我的团长位置。在火车站搭乘早上8点6分的火车，经过2小时40分钟左右的路程到达了巴黎Austerlitz车站。接着，A、B团全体成员共10人在中午抵达了位于巴黎Créteil区的旅馆。

    简单吃过午饭，A团乘坐地铁向协和广场出发。一路上观赏到了不少美女，不知是不是由于新鲜感的缘故，感觉上法国的美女比例稍稍高一点点，不知danny在US有没有同感。抵达协和广场之后，沿着香榭丽舍大街向凯旋门行进，随随便便地逛了一下两旁的各类商店（也只能随便逛一下了）。到达凯旋门之后发生了预料外事件，也因而得以进入香榭丽舍大街上的Louis Vuitton专卖店感受一番。晚餐过后，A团向埃菲尔铁塔进发，途中遇到了一位黑人兄弟拦路，经过Serge和Gildas的交涉，结果有惊无险，而Lydie同学却表现的异常机警，及时地离开了事件发生地区并企图报警…… 最后，终于到达在夜色中闪耀着星光的埃菲尔铁塔脚下，A团乘电梯到达埃菲尔铁塔塔顶，有幸俯瞰到巴黎街头的夜景，被冻得半死之后，在法国友人的指点下搭乘地铁回到旅馆并且结束了第一天的旅行。

    突然发现，这么写感觉第一天好象有点惨，而且似乎感受不到巴黎的气息吗……

第一天的遗憾：
 -- “都是汇率惹的祸……”
 -- 没有登上凯旋门……

第二天： 迪斯尼 x 迟到了…… x Disney x 好长的队 x 迪斯尼 x 角色扮演？ x Disney x 惊险游戏的体验 x 迪斯尼
2e jour:  En Retard... x Les Longues Lignes x Rôle-Jouer? x Les Expériences des Jeus Aventureux

    第二天的行程计划是去位于巴黎近郊的迪斯尼乐园。不过，我们11点多才到达梦想中的Disneyland。每人付了49欧元的门票钱，心安理得的进入了迪斯尼乐园的大门，于是在巴黎最富童话色彩的行程开始了。

    坐落于迪斯尼乐园中央的睡美人城堡是fantasyland也是整个公园的标志性建筑。在城堡的前面，我们还有幸的看到The Disney Princess身着盛装微笑着和游客们合影，只可惜排队的人实在是多，不然一张行吻手礼的合影还是很值得收藏的哩。因为我们到得比较晚，所以错过了和Mickey、Minnie和Winnie见面的机会，真是遗憾啊…… 感觉上，fantasyland里的童话色彩最浓重，一般都是以Disney的童话故事作为背景，娱乐项目也不激烈，非常适合年龄很小的游客（或者心理年龄很小的游客，比如A团3位团员）。一路上，只要遇到卖纪念品的摊贩或者商店，我们是一定会驻足的，一般情况下，都是上去把所有卡通形象的帽子试戴并且拍照一遍，之后Lydie和Ingrid一定要感叹一下，“超可爱哎~”，过足了角色扮演的瘾。

    不知不觉中天色已晚，但公园里依然聚集着不少游客。在勇敢的团长Serge的带领下,A团终于尝试了Disneyland里最惊险刺激的游戏项目。不过也付出了比较惨重的代价：除了团长情绪高涨之外，惊魂未定的其他团员的士气变得异常低落……


第二天的遗憾：
 --没有吃到白雪公主的毒苹果……
 --没有抢到观看游行的好位置……
 --没有足够的时间…… 游览Disneyland应该需要2天

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Preview: fever's Special Edtion of Paris II

第三天： 艺术的气息 x “我是见到过蒙娜丽莎的男人！” x 皇宫 x 夜色下的巴黎伴着塞纳河 x 团员病倒？
3e jour:  Le Souffle d'Art x "Je Suis Un Homme Qui A Vu La Joconde!" x Palais Royaux
  x Paris Dans La Nuit avec La Seine x Quelqu'un Tombe Malade?

第四天： 圣母大教堂 x 爸爸的生日！ x 圣诞节的机票 x 六弦琴 x 回程…… x 结束了？
4e jour:  Cathédrale Notre-Dame de Paris x L'Anniversaire de Papa
  x Les Billes d'Avion Vers Le Noël x Les Guitares
  x Le Retour... x C'est Fini?

================================================================

All the best to all!

--fever

Do comment, since you can help me. I really appreciate that.

Do comment, since you can help me. I really appreciate that.