need it~.... of course..., you may find it a little bit of ... long..., but you will find it REALLY pays off after the reading.

so, this~ is just what I recommanded, ...strongly

all right, we are moving...

If you thought English was your second language, you might not have realized you learning a third language at the same time!!! This valuable guide will help you to understand the most difficult language of all... the language of women !!! Another international language!!

Lesson 1.

“Yes.” really means：“No.”

“No.” really means：“No.”

“Maybe.” really means：“No.”

“I'm sorry.” really means：“You'll be sorry.”

Lesson 2.

“We need...” really means：“I want...”

If a woman says,“I think we need a new sofa.”She definitely means，“I want a new sofa!”This is a good lesson to learn. The next time you hear it,you can be prepared. I suggest offering to take your wife (or girlfriend) out to dinner as a distraction. It's cheaper than a new sofa. For example:

W: I think we need a new sofa.
H: I think we need to go out for dinner instead, we can talk about it later.
W: That's a great idea !!!

Lesson 3.

“We need to talk.”really means：“I need to complain。”

No woman says，“We need to talk”just to tell a man he's wonderful.If you hear these words from your girlfriend，you'd better start thinking about how you screwed up and how to appologize！！！ In fact，it's best to say，“OK，how about over a romantic dinner tonight？”If you are brave，you can say let's talk right now.But，whatever you do，don't answer by saying，“No，we don't.”

The following could happen to you：

W: Dear，we really need to talk.
M: No,I don't think so.
W: That's exactly what's wrong with you!!! You're an insensitive,inconsiderate jerk.You never talk to me,you never pay attention to me,and I HATE YOU!!!

The man always feels like he was hit by a bus without warning!!! Now,look at the following example of the RIGHT way to handle this dangerous situation.

W: Dear，we really need to talk.
M: OK,but I want to make a special time to talk. How about a romatic dinner tonight?
W: Um,OK. That sounds great.But it's nothing important,really.

VICTORY!!! You avoided a complaint.But you do have to pay for dinner!!!

Lesson 4.

“Do what you want.”really means：“You'll pay for this later.”

Don't be fooled into thinking this is free permission to do whatever you please. This is simply a warning that you will suffer for whatever you do.Think before you act, or you might end up regretting it later.

M: I know it's our anniversary tomorrow,but I was thinking of going to a football game with my friends.
W: OK. Do what you want.

This man is REALLY in big trouble!!! There aren't enough roses in the world to save him from disaster!!! He'd better make sure his friends have room on their sofa after the game,because he surely won't be welcome at home with his wife!!!

Lesson 5.

“Sure...go ahead”really means：“I don’t want you to do so.”

Lesson 6.

“It's your decision.”really means：“The correct decision should be obvious by now.”

By the time a woman says，“It's your decision，”she is already fed up with your indecision and thinks you should know what to do. Act quickly!!!

Lesson 7.

“I'm not upset.”really means：“Of course I'm upset，you idiot ！”

Only men ask the question，“Why are you upset？”or “Are you upset？” even when a woman is crying. That's why women have learned to say,“I'm not upset.”as a reflex. If a woman tells you this，you'd better try to figure out why she's upset and make it better.On the other hand，if you don't really care，or don't have the time to be bothered，you can quickly say，“I'm so glad you understand me and aren't upset.”Then run for the door！

“I'm not yelling!”really means：“Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.”

Lesson 8.

“You 're so manly.”really means：“You need a shave and you sweat a lot.”

If a woman thinks you look good，she will find a hundred ways to tell you.This is NOT one of them.If a woman tells you, you're so manly, you'd better take a shower and shave!!!

Lesson 9.

“Do you love me？”really means：“I'm going to ask for someing expensive.”

The best defense for this sentence is to quickly say，“I love you because you don't care about material things。You know true love can't be bought.”There's no way your girlfriend can ask you to buy her something expensive after you pay her this compliment.

“How much do you love me？”really means：“I did something today you're really not going to like.”

W: How much do you love me？
M: A lot. Why do you ask such a silly question?
W: Because I just wrecked your car.
M: You what? You're so stupid!!! How could you be so careless!!!
W: I just wrecked your car a little, you said you loved me a lot!!! You didn't even ask me if I was OK
M: I can see you're OK, I want to see my car!!!

Lesson 10.

“I'll be ready in a minute.”really means：“Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.”

Some people believe there is “male time” and “female time”. A minute for a woman to get ready really means about fifteen or twenty minutes. This is “female time”.

Lesson 11.

“Is my butt fat？”really means：“Tell me I'm beautiful.”

Lesson 12.

“You have to learn to comunicate.”really means：“Just agree with me.”

Many women think a man is an excellent communicator if he just knows two words：“Yes dear.”So if you would like to impress an American woman with your English it is easier than you think ！！！

Lesson 13.

“Are you listening to me ！？”really means：“Too late，you're dead.”

By the time a woman asks you if you are listening，she already is sure you weren't，and is damn mad. The best plan is to tell her you were distracted by how beautiful she is and really weren't listening. This might get you off the hook. If your wife or girlfriend is really angry,it might also get you slapped.

Lesson 14.

“Do you like this food？”really means：“It's easy to make，so you'd better get used to it.”

Lesson 15.

“All we're going to buy is a soap dish.”really means：“It goes without saying that we're shopping at the new cosmetics department and the shoe department. I need to look at a few new pocket books，and OH MY GOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your credit card？”

The biggest lie men tell is：“I never look at other girls.”The biggest lie women tell is：“I only want to buy one thing.”Never fall for this. Unless you have done something really bad and need to make up for it，avoid going shopping with a woman at all costs.